her heart in your hands























Oh look there's another one. 

A female.

Immediately my mind seeks out every single thing wrong with her.
Her face is too round. Her eyes are... what is wrong with them? Ah yes, they're too large for her face. Her nose is squat. Her hair looks terrible like that. 

And that dress?? As if I would EVER wear anything that short. And to church?
Gosh is she terrible. 

And her legs don't even look that good. 
She's really kind of fat.
I bet she's really a terrible person and she's only coming to Mass because she has to. 
Wow good thing I'm not like her. 



three seconds
that's all it took

to dissect a person
lay them bare

three words
that's all it took

to pass it on
look at her


three seconds

that's all you need

to decide who's worthy
who is dirt

three words
that's all it takes

to stop the murder
you look pretty


three seconds

is all she needs

to see the
judgement
in your eyes







this has to stop.
I have to stop.

we have to stop.

she is our sister.

and we are slowly killing her.

every female we see from newborn to dying is our sister and we are digging a knife into her heart

we are forcing her hand to the knife that will pierce her own skin
we are handing the gun to her trembling hand,
we are tying the noose.


for God's sake stop this madness before it's too late.






dear friend,
what you just read is not pretty. it isn't funny, it isn't a joke, and you probably know it.
what you read is my own thoughts.
and i'm not condemning anyone, i'm admonishing myself.
i'm sharing this because this mutual disgust and critical eye women seem have for each other needs to stop.  

we are women. we are beautiful and we are bold and we are fearless. we are protective and gentle and loving.
but we are powerless when it comes to another person dissecting us and uncovering us and ridiculing us. 
so why be the hand that gives the weapon when you can be the one to throw it away and save the heart that's dying.


~Esther

12 comments:

  1. Wow...just...wow. Esther, you write some of the most powerful words I have ever seen from a blogger. Every single one of your posts on this blog I love because you are real and raw and honest. You talk about the pain and suffering of this world, but you talk about it with such a unique hope and love that only God can provide.

    "so why be the hand that gives the weapon when you can be the one to throw it away and save the heart that's dying."

    ^^^^^^^^^^ Just yes. Your words are so powerful, Esther. Keep writing beautiful and meaningful things because you have a gift, darling. <3

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    1. thank you dear! I'm glad it resounded with you like it did me.

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  2. This is so powerful! I will admit that sometimes those same thoughts go through my head. It does need to stop. Thank you for such a strong reminder.

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    1. Thanks Vanessa!! I know. It's so hard but so so important. You're welcome, love

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  3. I feel like I've been stabbed, but maybe the wound is bleeding out poison.
    Keep on sharing the hard stuff, girl. Its powerful.
    -M-

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    1. I know the feeling. It stabbed me the moment I had those thoughts and I pray it's bleeding out the poison.
      Thank you for commenting, friend.

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  4. There has been quite a process that the Lord has been working in me of viewing everyone around as His children, as His beloved, as the people He came to give everything for. It's been amazing to not view women as just their outsides (which is what I did before, comparing them to myself constantly). Poison has no place in my words, and I am done speaking it.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you!! I know what you mean, and this is exactly what I am going through! We ARE all God's children and we are so precious in His eyes.

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  5. This is really powerful because comparison and criticism (even of myself) are some of my biggest issues. You perfectly captured the poison of these thoughts and the poetry of the kindness we can present to others. Thank you for writing this. It's a great reminder that we are all vulnerable and in need of encouragement, not judgement!

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    Replies
    1. Yes exactly! Thank YOU for commenting, dear!! Thank God that He helped us see.

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