Friday, January 11, 2019


Today, you are free to be a parent to yourself.

No matter who your parents were to you--

Whether they cherished you and saw you as the pearl that you are,

Or whether they never truly saw you,

Whether they became a foundation on which you built a strong, secure soul,

Or whether they offered you nothing to work with,

Whether they championed your push into the unknowns of growing older,

Or whether they pushed you into it without a champion,

Trust me.
They were only giving you what they had in themselves to give.

The Father is giving you permission to embrace yourself with His mother-father heart.

You can hold the little one within yourself, crying without relief, and know that you are holding that child with a never-ending, never-lacking, always-there, Love.

He is there.
Tuesday, January 8, 2019

anxious butterflies

The anxiety colored butterflies have stopped flapping their wings as fast as they were. My body no longer feels the need to run when I am not at ease. Instead, I stand in the midst of the snow barefoot and remind myself that I'm fine. The butterflies are finding safe branches to rest on.

Those safe branches feel steady. They aren't going to move on their own. If they were to move it'd be by a force outside of their control. That, I am okay with. I will be still while things appear safe. Those butterflies will rest.

I am starting to walk upright again. There is less anxious movement and instead it's replaced with inclined feelings. It's as if the winter is layering the world with white fluff that is okay to fall into. The anxious butterflies are being put to sleep until spring and the bones in my body are awaken by a delicate chill.

It's going to be okay-- those anxiety colored butterflies are settling and will eventually be put to sleep.

The first paragraph was written from words that I wrote in my journal. The rest was inspired by those words. Anxiety is something we are all fighting. More and more I notice people sharing their battles with it. I just wanted to say that it's okay to feel anxious, it makes you human and you shouldn't feel ashamed of it. <3

- vanessa

Thursday, November 8, 2018

dear self...don't forget.

dear self...don't forget. 

dear self...
battles have been fought.
darkness has tried to take out our light.
fear has shaken our ground.
arrows of lies have been aimed to our heart.
wounds have been a part of us
and broken pieces are all that we have left.

but, dear self...don't forget.
I plead, don't forget
that there is one who loves our broken pieces.
who is with us in the battle
who fights and conquerors every battle
who is the Light that can't be snuffed out
who shields us from the flaming arrows
who heals our wounds
who completes us.

don't forget...
that this One has gone through
everything we have faced+are facing+will face
100X more
in payment of our life.
He was shredded, pierced, mocked
and died and rose from the grave for us.

don't forget...that only He defines who we are.
don't forget...who He says we are.
don't forget, please, that He says 
“you are my beloved child; you are beloved.”
do not forget... He loves the broken you.
(Jer. 31:3)
~Ellie J