Girl
It's been a couple years and you've grown and changed
And you're so different in so many ways
But in so many ways, you're still the same
Girl
Old habits die hard
And your source of identity has always been a little skewered
By whether or not you performed well enough
On any given day
Girl
Perfectionism is your vice
Your arch-nemesis
Your crutch
Girl
Heart black and blue and bruised
With the words you weaponize against yourself
Tongue pointed like a loaded gun
Who gave you the right to speak as though you aren't a miracle?
Girl
Your hands still shake
And somewhere along the way
The courage you inked on your palms got a bit smudged
Girl
You stopped believing you were a mountain shaker
When those mountains didn't immediately move
And that warhead brain of yours
Finally detonated with an atomic blast that leveled you
Girl
The nights you spent weeping for the trial to end
The moments you fought for every breath
The days you put one shaking foot in front of the other
If only because you didn't know what else to do
Girl
Can't you see that you are holy?
Called forth and created by a God who loves you
Who left paradise to seek you out in the wilderness
Untangled you from the darkness and brought you into His light?
Girl
He breathed life into your lungs and spun you into being
And declared, “It is good.”
Not because you're good on your own
But because He always speaks over us the beauty of what He's created us to be
Girl
Can you believe that grace was made
For someone exactly like you
The you that doesn't read the Word enough
The you that doesn't sit in the pew enough
Girl
The you who calls yourself a backslider and a heathen
The you who wishes you could be sweeter, kinder, better, perfect
The you who wants to rise up with faith
But so often, falls into doubt instead
Girl
Don't you see?
It was never up to you to form your own version of righteousness
Only to cling to that which He bled and died to give you
Girl
It's you whom He loves
The messy you with the tainted hands and banged up heart
The you who can't look yourself in the eyes without
Finding something you wish you could change
Girl
He loves you
The you who snaps at her mom
The you who is a lackluster friend
The you with the road rage
Girl
He loves you
The you who holds open doors for old ladies
The you who buys lunch for the homeless man on the corner
The you who sings those worship songs on Sundays
Girl
His love isn't based on a screwed up system
Of behavior modification that leaves a put together exterior
While the soul rots underneath
Because you know what, girl?
His love is never based on you
It's simply placed on you
He loves you, girl
He loves you
He loves you
Please
Don't forget it
-ashlyn
i’m on the verge of tears right now because this resonates with me so hard. i would the part that i love the most, but i’d simply end up quoting the entire piece because i relate to all of it. this is so important and i cannot thank you enough for reminding me that i am enough...the broken, screwed up me...is enough because i have a God who loves me regardless of my imperfections and mistakes. <3 <3
ReplyDeleteThis means so much to me. I’m so glad that it touched you and lifted your heart <3
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh you are lovely. I agree with musicgirl121. <3 She says it best.
ReplyDeleteAwe, thank you <3
Deletethank you, vanessa <3
Delete"You stopped believing you were a mountain shaker
ReplyDeleteWhen those mountains didn't immediately move"
OOF.
this cut right to my heart.
wowowowowow