GIRL (revisited)

Girl

It's been a couple years and you've grown and changed

And you're so different in so many ways

But in so many ways, you're still the same

Girl

Old habits die hard

And your source of identity has always been a little skewered

By whether or not you performed well enough

On any given day

Girl

Perfectionism is your vice

Your arch-nemesis

Your crutch

Girl

Heart black and blue and bruised

With the words you weaponize against yourself

Tongue pointed like a loaded gun

Who gave you the right to speak as though you aren't a miracle?

Girl

Your hands still shake

And somewhere along the way

The courage you inked on your palms got a bit smudged

Girl

You stopped believing you were a mountain shaker

When those mountains didn't immediately move

And that warhead brain of yours

Finally detonated with an atomic blast that leveled you

Girl

The nights you spent weeping for the trial to end

The moments you fought for every breath

The days you put one shaking foot in front of the other

If only because you didn't know what else to do

Girl

Can't you see that you are holy?

Called forth and created by a God who loves you

Who left paradise to seek you out in the wilderness

Untangled you from the darkness and brought you into His light?

Girl

He breathed life into your lungs and spun you into being

And declared, “It is good.”

Not because you're good on your own

But because He always speaks over us the beauty of what He's created us to be

Girl

Can you believe that grace was made

For someone exactly like you

The you that doesn't read the Word enough

The you that doesn't sit in the pew enough

Girl

The you who calls yourself a backslider and a heathen

The you who wishes you could be sweeter, kinder, better, perfect

The you who wants to rise up with faith

But so often, falls into doubt instead

Girl

Don't you see?

It was never up to you to form your own version of righteousness

Only to cling to that which He bled and died to give you

Girl

It's you whom He loves

The messy you with the tainted hands and banged up heart

The you who can't look yourself in the eyes without

Finding something you wish you could change

Girl

He loves you

The you who snaps at her mom

The you who is a lackluster friend

The you with the road rage

Girl

He loves you

The you who holds open doors for old ladies

The you who buys lunch for the homeless man on the corner

The you who sings those worship songs on Sundays

Girl

His love isn't based on a screwed up system

Of behavior modification that leaves a put together exterior

While the soul rots underneath

Because you know what, girl?

His love is never based on you

It's simply placed on you

He loves you, girl

He loves you

He loves you

Please

Don't forget it  

-ashlyn