you are not a machine























you, like me, are probably tired.

i see your darkened eyes, your brittling bones, your wry smile that
spreads thinner and thinner.

i see your hungry heart, your hollowed ribcage, and the deep puddle that
you're about to collapse into.

i know your skipping heartbeat, the pain that jolts up your arm as you pound it
against the wooden desk to try again and again and again

i know your adrenaline going to waste because you're sitting through lectures,
taking those exams, working behind the counter, to no avail

i recognize your soul bursting because you're locked inside and you are
overworking yourself

but you will deny it because you, like me, still feel the desire to get things done
because you, like me, will not be contented with enough
because you, like me, would rather go down because you're tired than rest and rise again

but you aren't a machine, and that is the problem.

you are here and you are with me
we are flesh and blood and bone and belief and we still have life
we still have it inside us, curled up like a ball, and it won't let go

we are not rust and steel and cement and rot and death
we are not programmed to work day and night
we are not built of never ending grit

we are more than clockwork, more than rigorous timetables and schedules
we are breathing and sad and happy and mad at all the wrong and right times but that's fine

you, like me, probably need a break

so go for it.

then get back up again.

10 comments:

  1. DUDE I LOVE THIS <3 Rest has been on my heart over and over again this summer, and it's something I'm still learning. "You are a not a machine." Love it! So poetic and beautifully written. :)

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  2. I feel as we all need a break sometimes. But getting out of routine can be hard. That's why I adore summer so much.

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    Replies
    1. I totally get you!! Summer and other school breaks are the greatest.

      - andrea at a surge of thunder

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  3. You have no idea how much this resonated with me; I actually have tears in my eyes. I have pushed and pushed myself and I always beat myself up when I don't achieve the very best.

    I am not a machine, I need to take a break and look after myself!

    Thank you so much for writing this post, it is overwhelmingly true, and thus beautiful.

    Lauren | Sincerely, Lauren Emily

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    Replies
    1. I'm so, so happy you liked this, Lauren! This was the hardest post for me to write because my schedule was packed.

      You deserve a break and go, give it to yourself :)

      - andrea at a surge of thunder

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  4. I needed this. so. stinking. bad.
    Thank you for your words.
    ~Mira

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Mira! Thank you for reading this :)

      - andrea at a surge of thunder

      Delete
  5. Why is everyone writing about rest? Why is this SO SO APPLICABLE??? gah. This is GORGEOUS and this part especially I love love loved and identified with:

    i know your adrenaline going to waste because you're sitting through lectures,
    taking those exams, working behind the counter, to no avail
    i recognize your soul bursting because you're locked inside
    ....
    because you, like me, would rather go down because you're tired than rest and rise again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we're all just exhausted deep down, and writing about rest allows us to actually believe we should rest! Thank you for reading this, Olivia :D

      - andrea at a surge of thunder

      Delete

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