you are beautiful

you are beautiful


























You know that moment, when they tell you you're beautiful and... they actually mean it?
Maybe it's your dad, or mom. Maybe it's your sister or brother or your boyfriend.
I know, cliche as heck, but really. You feel like you can't quite believe them because how could it be true? You've seen yourself. How could that be beautiful? 
Part of you wants to believe them, the other wants to run and douse your face with water till it steams you're blushing so hard.
Part of you wants to cry, another wants to smile. Part of you wants to hide, the other thinks you should say 'thank you’.
And somewhere deep inside, a younger version of you sobs. Thinking about all the lies you were told about how you are plain, or fat, or ugly. 
That you are nobody special.
A little baby girl inside you cries and you feel your heart cracking because of that one person who didn't return your smile, or didn't repeat your 'good mornings’.
A little princess’ fist clenches, trying to keep the sobs in, trying to keep her stomach in.
Trying to fit into jeans two sizes small, and a society that's way smaller than the one she should care about. 
The only one that matters.
It may take a guy to tell you “you're beautiful” in order for you to believe it. It may take that person in the library or the store who smiled at you, and complimented you.
It may take an ounce of love or eight-thousand pounds.
But guess what? You don't have to look far for it. 
It's always there, waiting right behind you.
As you look around and try to find love, look there over your shoulder. See that man? He is bloody. He is bruised. His face doesn't even look human anymore because he's been beaten so badly.
See that cross that is weighing him almost to the ground? 
That's every mean word you've said and was said to you. That's every time you were put down by people and every insult and every lie.
Don't turn away, look at him. Watch him teeter closer and look into his eyes as they find yours.
Listen to him telling you why he is bearing your insults.

because he knows you can't hold them yourself. so he's holding them for you. and he's here to tell you

y o u ‘ r e    b e a u t i f u l

he should know. when he was making you he wanted you to look just like that. 
perfect and beautiful for him.




- Esther 

He remains

He remains



























It's an all too familiar feeling

That soul-sucking, draining, never ebbing hole that rests between who you are and what you strive to be

Who you know you should be, but just..aren't
Your feet are close to the edge, it crumbles, you might fall, and it's too much, too much, too much.

Because you try, try, try

But you're never quite enough, enough, enough

And there's nothing you've ever been so aware of as you are your own inadequacy

The war you're waging has you losing more ground than you're gaining

Your own brokenness is staring you in the face, commanding all of your attention

When you fall into the same temptation again and again and start to wonder how there could ever be enough grace in the world to redeem you

When the rug is pulled out from beneath your feet, suddenly you find yourself not being able to hide anymore

Dirty hands, downcast eyes, the overwhelming knowledge that you've got nothing much to offer

Except for a broken heart and wounds so deep they threaten to swallow you alive

But, friend, what is your patch of darkness when it's held up against an infinite source of light?

Because the truth is, there isn't anything so broken or messed up that grace can't step in to make whole

Lay down your arms, it's safe to trust, He's safe to trust

You don't have to be in the trenches alone

There is One who sits with you

Holding your hand, cradling your heart, and whispering

That He knows exactly what you're going through because He's been in the trenches, too

When it's all said and done, maybe it isn't your job to be enough

Maybe fighting against inadequacy is a false choice

Maybe perfection is a less worthy pursuit than progress

Maybe the mess isn't meant to be fixed, but shaped into a message about grace and hope and light

That is less about who you are or who you are not

And more about who He is in you, through you, and around you

About how when you are faithless

He is forever faithful

When you are weak

He is strong

When all other things fade away

He remains

-ashlyn 

remember, remember [or beating, beating]

remember, remember [or beating, beating]
























it's easy to say you will keep your
beautiful chin up 
when the sun shines, 
when the sky is clear, 
when the fire within you 
glows

it's when it rains, 
when the clouds come, 
when the fire dwindles that it becomes 
hard

but that is when you need
to take your own advice
when you feel like you're a cavern with giving-way walls
that,
oh that is when you need to remember

remember
remember: 

though you be but small,
your skin holds back a 
lion heart;

beating,
beating.






you've got this.
kate



i forgive you

i forgive you





















i remember the play dates we had when we were nine

the dolls, climbing trees, and keeping secrets

'forever?' i asked

'forever.' you said

i thought it was true

they never tell you when you grow older about all the people you would lose

the ones who you know so well

become the ones who tell you that you're no longer worth

anything

i reached out my hand

i called out 'where did you go?'

i guess the stories are true


you're on your own now

and we don't talk

but i've let go of the bitterness

i pushed out the hurt

all i wanted to show you

that i'm not mad at you

and there's forgiveness waiting for you

from God and i

if you decide to ever come around

but if you don't, just know:

i forgive you

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

in past months i've dealt with bitterness and hurt after a very long friendship that ended quite sadly. dear friends do know that holding on to bitterness and hurt is worse than forgiving them. it ultimately harms you more than the person you harbor the feelings for.


"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you" - Ephesians 4:32



- JacyRayn

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