the lover & the lost



he told me once
in the car
as headlights rose, fell, swept by
that I could always talk to God.
I wonder
why it didn't work for him.

did you ever believe that
Jesus loves you
or were you repeating lines from a sermon
stacking empty words to build a
false little tower
painting me a picture in black and white
and marvelling over
the colours?
how can someone so wise
who spun the wheel in his hands
as he spun me the answers
how can someone with
Jesus in his voice
march straight off the path without looking back?

do you ever pray?

on the way to work
or when you're
alone
at home
do you recognize yourself?
I look back and try to find the one place when you snapped
but maybe your life fell apart
in a series of small
cracks.

when you were eight
and dad was still at work
thirteen, and she didn't
like you back
high school, and you couldn't
find the grades so you
went looking for love
in other places
that smell sweet
but hide in the shadows.
and smoke.

eight years

later and I wonder
could you find your way back if you tried?
I look for you sometimes
but you aren't here
stuck in a story I never wanted to read.
I never thought I would understand
that loving lost people is hard
and when you hug the broken,
sometimes they cut you
but that doesn't mean you let go.

so if you're reading this, I hope you know
I never stopped loving you
and He didn't, either.


a little truth for your morning - whether you're the lover or the lost, or a little bit of both - it's okay. He still loves you, and so do I.

xx,
Olivia (s)

26 comments:

  1. Absolutely breathtaking. I just can't with this. <3

    Basically I love Burning Youth so incredibly much. Every single piece posted on here has been so deep and true, and the level of talent among you girls just skyrockets. Love the ministry you have here!

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    1. Burning Youth is a crazy-wild adventure, and I love being a part of it :) Thanks so much for your comment, Emily! It means buckets to me. :)

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  2. This is so beautiful, I can't even. What a glorious way to express what it's like to desperately want something for someone who doesn't want it for themselves.

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    1. Ashlyn, even though I wrote this poem about a situation that happened years and years ago, sometimes it still breaks my heart. It's hard to feel helpless about the ones we love.

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  3. Aw this is beautiful and such a huge, important remind of God's great love and forgiveness <3

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    1. Elizabeth, this comment is perfect. :) Thank you.

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  4. Wow. this is a hard truth that i've never quite felt in other posts before <3 <3 <3

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    1. It still gut-punches me every time I think about it... I'm so beyond glad that you can feel it, too. ♥

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  5. mmm.

    Olivia this is a deep thing. I know someone that i think of when i read this and it rings so true. this did my heart good-- this affirmed some stuff in my head/heart. thank you

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    1. Kate -- I wrote it for someone else, but when I posted this, you did flick through my head. <3 I thought it might sound familiar to you, too.

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  6. this reminds me so much of God's grace and love. oh how i need it. this was so beautiful, olivia <3

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    1. I'm so so so so so glad that it does. So glad. <3

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  7. i think this is the part where i sob my heart out because there is a Love so strong that it hurts, hurts, hurts to see them lost. this means a lot. ow. nothing i can say can even begin to explain what this meant to me. xx

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    1. Ohhhh Cally. I feel this too. Thanks for commenting, girl. <3

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  8. Wowwww.....this is amazing beautifulness. <33

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  9. Sometimes I wish I could ask those questions too.. What an eloquent reminder of the depths of His love. Thank you, talented girl. xx

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    1. Go ahead and ask those questions, Jessica! Stand up and shout out and see what happens. <3

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  10. this is so seriously gorgeousness. <3

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    1. You're killing me, lovely! <3 wow. thank you.

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  11. oh wow. no words for this masterpiece.

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    1. <3 you rock, Aaliyah. Thanks for commenting!

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  12. oh wow. no words for this masterpiece.

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  13. oh wow. no words for this masterpiece.

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  14. wow. this breaks my heart into tiny pieces.

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    1. Grace Anne, I'm sorry -- but I'm so thankful. <3

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