Sunday, July 31, 2016

20 Below

it was 20 below zero.

the best part

Your upside down thoughts 
tying knots 
keeping you stuck 
in this game 
of musical chairs from 

without the music.

Oh lord why have you forsaken me 
Left me here crying out for the kick in the head you won't give 
Because I'm the one beating myself up
That was never 

Stop kissing me 
With your mercy words 
Because you're honestly driving me insane 
because you like me even when I'm packing my bags to 
run away from this warhead.

You love me 
Even when my mouth is an open grave, fighting your
professions of enamor 

I'm kicking and screaming in your arms and you're like
Whispering in my ears 
and your words are warm
and they're saying 

"Shhh love, 
this is the best part."

Mirror Girl

Sometime after my fifteenth birthday, something happened to me. I changed. I started living with ghosts in my own head. Demons. There was this girl who would watch me when I woke up, when I put on my clothes, my earrings. When I washed my face and brushed my hair and she’d look at me with her critical eyes and tell me I was ugly and stupid and that she hated me. She told me she hated me. She lived in the mirror.

I’m free from all this, now. I know that I’m beautiful. But I didn’t always know that. Sometimes when I talk about this, it’s really hard. I think it will always be hard. But not because I don’t understand – I do  understand. And I want you to understand it, too. And so, this song. Because I don’t know what other words to use. Because sometimes my heart burns within me and I have to let it out in words. Because you’re beautiful. ◘

On a Sunday

When it's not Sunday, I'm thinking about doodling on Sunday. ◘

afraid of the flame

you keep your head like a pocket full of noise 
so the thoughts stumble backward like pharaoh 
Afraid of the flame 

you pump in the noise like smoke to get the rats out 
you are loud about nothing 
because you have yet to be strong,
like you already are,

like you already are

you hide behind the noise 
keep up pumping it in because 
who you are 
hasn't sunk from your head to your

you are a lion
hiding beneath
the noise